Monday, August 16, 2010

How bad is it being a mistress?

I am 24, and I am from India. I am in love with this guy who is married but has a lot of probs in his life, and he does not want a divorce just because of his kids. He loves me a lot and cares so much for me and he is the one who takes care of me. I fell in love with this guy after I got kicked out of my mom's house because I expressed my opinion about her ';best friend';, who is a guy my age. She loves him so much and because of that I had to leave the house. She doesn't know about us. I am crazy about traveling, and I wish to help those who suffer and those who are in real need of help. I wish to spend my life for charity and traveling, and I want to spend my life with the man I love. I know our marriage is far from possible, but I can't help the way I feel about him. Is it okay if I stay as his mistress?Or is it legal for him to marry me now when he already has a wife? How do I ask him to get a divorce? Please don't think I am selfish, I just love this guy too much.





P.S: he is Muslim and I am Hindu.How bad is it being a mistress?
He is just using you because he thinks so little of you. Find a man who loves you.How bad is it being a mistress?
You may love this guy but he is doing nothing but using you. Staying with his wife for the kids is just an excuse. He just doesn't want to pay child support. Whats going to happen when the wife finds out and your back on your own? Or he decides to go with a younger mistress. Nothing good is going to come of this and your going to regret the time and effort you put in to it.
Oh, nothing is more impressive to your friends and family than announcing you are a mistress to a cheating bastard. Yeah...that's something to post of your Facebook, for sure. Only ugly haters will not tell you how lucky you are to have a man spend tons of cash on you and give it up with out the issues of him wanting you to bear his brats or live with the slob. Let the wife do all the hard work, and you get all the fun. Honey, you deserve it! Make sure to post it on your Facebook page though, so everyone knows you are one lucky gal!
He is married. He has already told you that he will not get a divorce because of his kids. You should have never got yourself into a situation like this. It is highly disrespectful. There is no future but maybe a black eye when his wife finds out! Leave now before you wreck his marriage even more than you already have.
I think you already know your answers yourself. He is not going to get a divorce and you will always be on the outside looking in. The best thing for you to do is force yourself to stay away from him and meet people to form your own circle of friends. Some day you will meet the man you deserve and be happy to have a person of your own to celebrate life with. You deserve that.
No no no no. Listen to me. Maam, your question is all over the place, discussing everything from the issues you have with your mother, to religion! I suggest you take out a notebook and write out in point-form what it is you are really trying to ask, then type out what you want to ask slowly and clearly so that we can understand you. From what I gather, you are suffering from a crisis that has a LOT to do with your mother. You are not so much concerned about the man you are in love with leaving his wife for you, as you are about how your mother will react when she finds out you are marrying someone who she feels is not ';appropriate,'; someone from outside of your race and religion, PARTICULARLY since you scolded her for being with someone who is not ';appropriate'; for her (according to you, based on his age).


Seek counseling sessions and preferably have sessions with your mother present.


And get your act together while you're at it!
You are wasting your time. If he really loves you, he'd get the divorce on his own. Men will use that line that they are in a marriage for their children. It's not true. You can be a good father to your kids irrespective of your immediate proximity to them physcally. You are young, make your own history don't start your life cleaning up someone else's mess.
Your the mistress, you wait for him, his with his wife, you wait for him, his with his kids, you wait for him you wake up one day and you realize you wasted your life when you could have had your own husband and your own kids to love and be with every night. Why do you want to have his leftovers, when it's the time for him. Your living on his time table not your own, your world revolves around him, and if something happens to him and you loved him, when he dies you get no retirement, no nothing, and you can't even go to his funeral. His kids and his wife will find out eventually and you will be despised by his kids for hurting his mom. Just let him go, because your young and you deserve so much more.
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