How long after a tough divorce until people feel ready to commit?

I was married 24 years, worked my hind end off, and then my wife (who refused to work) bailed on me, took half of everything and moved the kids out of state over my objections. She stated if I did not agree to them moving, she'd put me through the worst divorce I'd ever seen. I got scalded. I have been with my girlfriend two years and she is a love, but wants a ring. I am commitment phobic. Anybody with experience with this? Am I ever gonna feel ready?How long after a tough divorce until people feel ready to commit?
been there done that felt it. just remember one thing. your present gf is not responsible for what your ex did to you, nor is she the same person. don't punish her for someone's elses actions. you will never feel ready, until you start to let down walls and let others in. sure its hard to trust again esp after what you describe, but if you don't start somewhere, you will grow old alone. doesn't mean you have to rush into marriage or anything, but you do need to learn to talk to her, consider her feelings, as well as yor own, and maybe work out a long term compromise that you can both agree toHow long after a tough divorce until people feel ready to commit?
Get her a ring but keep delaying the marriage.
Hi - you're very brave and resourceful to get into another relationship after such a horrendous divorce, you should be congratulated for that.





But, like you, I'm a commitment Phobe too. No more marriage for me, thanks.





You've only been with your lady for 2 years, it's entirely possible that you'll feel more secure and stable soon enough, or you may NEVER, I really don't know.





I guess all you can do at this stage is assure her of your love and passion, but just explain to her that you are battle-scarred and need time to heal.





I wish you both well.
You won't truly be ready until you are alone and work on YOU and only YOU. You really need to be alone for a long time...one or two years until you fully feel ready to commit to someone again.
take your time. sounds like you got burned bad, and one sure doesn't want to go through that hell again. Your gf should understand where you are coming from. just tell her you need more time and that you love her very much.
I don't know how long you were divorced until you got a new girlfriend. Is it this (current) girlfriend?


If so, that was a wrong move on your part. You need to spend lots of time being by yourself - I'd say 1-2 yrs until you commit to anyone.





I can understand your hesitation into committing at this time. There's no hurry. Take things very slow. I don't care if your immature girlfriend WANTS A RING. Flat out, tell her you are no position to push the relationship into marriage. If she doesn't like it, tell her to hit the road!





My brother is going through a divorce after 14 yrs of marriage with no kids. This has been dragging along for 1 year to end in site. He's not dating and shows very interest in. I told him to wait until the divorce is FINAL AND TAKES LOTS OF LOTS OF TIME BY YOURSELF. I guess he's listening. My brother is 48 yrs old.
Four or Five years. You actually need to find yourself and figure out what really went wrong in the relationship so that you don't commit the same mistake.





Good Luck,





Baby~
Time you need time


and yeah is tuff after that one


good luck
There is a whole section devoted to this situation here: http://www.divorce.com/after-divorce





I would definitely consider a pre-nup. She should understand based on what you went through before.
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